The Biblical Foundation for Marriage
Marriage is not only a social or cultural institution but is deeply rooted in the biblical framework as the first institution created by Jehovah. Genesis 2:18 states, “Jehovah God said, ‘It is not good for the man to continue by himself. I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.’” The divine intention for marriage is clear: it is a bond of companionship and mutual support, one that reflects the unity and harmony God desires for His people.
Jesus reaffirmed this foundation in Matthew 19:4-6 when He stated, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.” Marriage, then, is established by God as a permanent and sacred covenant, designed to reflect the intimate relationship between Christ and the Church.
However, even within this sacred relationship, the challenges of life, personal sin, and cultural pressures often bring about struggles. Without intentional effort to nurture the marital bond, marriages can drift into isolation, and disillusionment can set in. The experience of Mike and Mary Murray, outlined at the beginning, illustrates how isolation and unmet expectations can lead to crises, but it also reveals the power of intervention through biblical counseling and community support to restore and strengthen the marriage.
The Role of Small Groups in Marriage Building
In addressing the challenges that many couples face in marriage, small groups play an essential role in fostering the growth of godly relationships. In the church setting, small groups can provide a supportive environment where couples can connect with one another, share experiences, and learn from Scripture together. The concept of small groups in the church is not a new or modern invention but is deeply biblical. Acts 2:42-47 describes the early church as a community of believers who “devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” It was in this close-knit community that Christians were strengthened in their faith, supported through life's difficulties, and held accountable to live according to God's Word.
The same principle applies to marriages. Small groups designed specifically for married couples can offer a safe space for discussing the joys and struggles of marriage, building friendships with other couples who share the same commitment to God's design for marriage. When couples study the Scriptures together, they gain insight into God’s purposes for their relationship and learn how to apply His teachings to their daily lives. This creates an environment for accountability, where couples can support each other in making necessary changes and persevering through difficulties.
Small Groups Encourage Honest Communication
One of the major factors that often leads to the breakdown of marriages is the inability or unwillingness to communicate openly and honestly. Mike and Mary Murray’s marriage was marked by emotional isolation, where both partners, though physically present, were drifting apart emotionally. This isolation can often lead to harmful behaviors, such as infidelity, as in Mike’s case. The first step toward healing and reconciliation in such situations is honest, open communication. Ephesians 4:25 instructs believers, “Therefore, putting away lying, let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.” Truthfulness, especially within marriage, is vital for healing wounds and restoring trust.
Small groups provide a setting where couples can share their experiences and challenges with one another in a safe environment. In this context, honesty is not only encouraged but modeled. Couples are given the opportunity to confess struggles, seek advice, and hear testimonies of others who have overcome similar challenges. James 5:16 urges, “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” By being transparent with one another, couples in small groups can grow in trust and unity, helping to prevent the isolation that often precedes marital crises.
The Power of Accountability in Marriage
Accountability is another crucial element that small groups provide. As couples engage in Scripture study and prayer together, they are encouraged to hold one another accountable to live according to God’s commands. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 states, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.” Marriage, at its core, is about mutual support. Couples need to be able to rely on each other, especially when facing life’s difficulties.
In a small group, the power of accountability extends beyond individual marriages. Couples can learn to support one another, not only in the shared study of the Bible but also in their daily struggles. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” By being accountable to one another, couples can sharpen each other, encouraging growth and helping one another navigate the complexities of life and marriage.
Moving from Knowledge to Application
The ultimate goal of small groups focused on marriage is not just to gain knowledge of what Scripture teaches about marriage but to apply it practically in daily life. Knowledge alone does not transform a marriage. James 1:22 emphasizes, “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” True transformation occurs when couples take the biblical truths they learn in small groups and apply them to their relationships.
For example, couples may study the biblical principles of love, forgiveness, and communication. As they move from understanding these concepts to actively practicing them, they will experience tangible improvements in their marriages. This is especially true when small group leaders encourage couples to take specific steps in their relationship. For instance, a couple might be challenged to address a conflict in a Christlike manner, or to spend intentional time together outside of their daily routines. These practical applications, when lived out, lead to strengthened marriages and a deeper commitment to one another.
The Importance of Regular Engagement with God’s Word
A key component of small groups is their focus on regular study of God’s Word. As couples gather together to read Scripture, pray, and discuss what they have learned, they invite the Holy Spirit to work in their hearts, transforming them into the image of Christ. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 reminds us that “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” Regular engagement with the Bible equips couples to navigate the challenges they face in marriage with wisdom and grace.
Moreover, as couples study the Word together, they develop a shared understanding of God’s will for their relationship. This common foundation fosters unity and allows both spouses to speak the same “language” when it comes to resolving conflicts or making decisions. In this way, the Word of God becomes the standard by which marriages are built, maintained, and healed.
Small Groups Foster Community and Fellowship
Marriage can sometimes feel isolating, especially when couples are facing difficulties. Small groups combat this isolation by providing a community of support. In small groups, couples are not only held accountable but are also encouraged to fellowship with others who are walking through similar challenges. Hebrews 10:24-25 instructs, “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”
By connecting with other couples in a small group, individuals can share struggles, celebrate victories, and learn from one another. This communal aspect of small groups creates an environment where couples are encouraged to persevere in their marriages, knowing that they are not alone. Furthermore, this fellowship offers opportunities for couples to serve one another, whether by offering prayer, practical help, or simply lending a listening ear.
The Role of Prayer in Small Groups for Marital Health
Prayer is a vital component of any small group, and it is especially important when it comes to strengthening marriages. James 5:16 tells us, “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” When couples pray together—both for one another and for their marriage—they invite God’s guidance and intervention into their relationship. Prayer fosters unity, as it helps couples focus on their shared faith in God and their dependence on Him for strength and wisdom.
In small groups, prayer also becomes a tool for interceding on behalf of other couples who may be struggling. As couples pray for one another, they deepen their bond and strengthen the body of Christ as a whole. Praying for God’s will to be done in one another’s marriages allows couples to submit their desires and expectations to Him, seeking His guidance in all matters.
How Small Groups Can Prevent Marital Crises
The story of Mike and Mary Murray illustrates how small groups can intervene before marriages reach crisis levels. Small groups provide couples with a proactive way to address issues before they escalate into major conflicts. By being involved in a small group, couples are more likely to recognize the warning signs of marital drift and take corrective action before isolation or resentment builds up.
In addition, small groups can help couples address issues of selfishness, which often lies at the root of marital struggles. Philippians 2:3-4 reminds us to “let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” In a small group setting, couples can be challenged to examine their own hearts and motivations, seeking to put the needs of their spouse above their own.
The Transforming Power of Small Groups in Marriage
Ultimately, the power of small groups to strengthen marriages lies in their ability to transform individuals through the application of God’s Word. As couples study Scripture, engage in honest communication, and hold one another accountable, they are being sanctified—shaped into the image of Christ. Ephesians 5:25-27 presents the example of Christ’s love for the Church, saying, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word.” This is the model that Christian couples are called to follow in their marriages: sacrificial love, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to God’s Word.
Small groups are an essential tool for helping couples achieve this transformation. As couples commit to studying God’s Word together, applying it to their marriages, and supporting one another in the process, they experience the power of God’s truth to heal, restore, and strengthen their relationship.
Conclusion
Small groups are a key strategy for building stronger marriages in the church. By providing a space for couples to study Scripture, practice honest communication, support one another, and hold each other accountable, small groups foster the kind of deep community that is essential for marital success. As couples apply God’s Word to their relationships and seek His guidance through prayer, they can experience lasting transformation, preventing marital crises and cultivating marriages that reflect the love and faithfulness of Christ. In this way, small groups become a vital resource for strengthening marriages and building godly families in the church.
About the Author
EDWARD D. ANDREWS (AS in Criminal Justice, BS in Religion, MA in Biblical Studies, and MDiv in Theology) is CEO and President of Christian Publishing House. He has authored over 220 books. In addition, Andrews is the Chief Translator of the Updated American Standard Version (UASV).
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